The Flossy Flossy

Keeping it “on the real” the best I can.

Archive for family

Family History!

I almost killed myself with Starbucks yesterday: never have a venti anything, no matter how much anyone means to you. I didn’t think I could get intoxicated from coffee. You learn something new every day.

And apropos that, onto the topic du jour! I feel like I should begin by writing out a bit of background first. I was born in 1990 in Yanshan, Beijing, China. In 1991, my father left for the USA on a business project (which caved, but he decided to remain nevertheless), and I was raised by my mom and grandparents in rural Beijing until September 21, 1996, when we boarded that plane for San Francisco.

Contrary to America, “single parents” were practically unheard of when I was growing up, and I distinctly remember being in kindergarden, watching all the other kids being picked up, and I thought, “One day, my dad is going to pick me up from school.” It was weird, knowing you have a dad out there, and knowing he knows about you, but not knowing anything else about him. So September 21, 1996, was a big day for me: it was the first time that I met my dad.

I don’t dwell much on psychological explanations, but I don’t disagree that things would’ve turned out a hell of a lot different if I had had him in my life those first six years. (It makes me question a lot of things: Would they still have gotten divorced? Would he still have hit us? Would I still have turned out gay, or bi, or whatever the hell I am? [Troubling questions for a pubescent teenager!] That’s what I’d use my time machine for.) The reality of having “Dad” was much less romantic than I had envisioned for myself and my mom. And I realized after a while that I didn’t like calling him Dad–he wasn’t what a dad should be like.

Until then, I didn’t know that it was possible to be estranged from a stranger. But I was only distancing myself from the image that I had built of him.

But anyway, getting back to the point: I was always close to my mother’s side of the family because of this absence–soon distance. Sure, I was the son of a daughter–with my father’s last name being a constant prickly reminder of that–but I considered myself as legit as any 文 (Wen). And I guess my interest in the Wen family history stems from that desire of inclusion (an apparently recurring theme in my life…faen, they’re all related). Which is why I’m getting so excited over this:

The Wen family, my family, is Manchu. Our people were a nomadic group of hunters and equestrians from northeastern China that spoke a Tungusic language. We belonged to the Plain Yellow Banner (along with Aisin Gioro, the royal Manchu family–something my grandpa was rather fond of mentioning) under the eight banners administration set up by Nurhaci. This much general information I knew. However, what was interesting to me was that after the Manchus set up the Qing Dynasty, they began to practice sinicization in order to stay in power, which included sinicizing Manchu clan names into Chinese surnames. (For example, the clan name Aisin Gioro became sinicized as 金 [Jin], although this doesn’t mean every Chinese person with the surname Jin is an Aisin Gioro.) And ever since I could remember, I’ve been trying to find out what our clan name was.

Well, after a crapload of tracing and retracing our steps, we’ve finally found the…rather anticlimatic clan name. (文氏, it turns out to be. And 氏, or “hala” in Manchu, just means clan. So before we were Wens, we were Wens.) But after digging a little bit further, we came upon something else:

My grandparents came from Dalian, in the Liaoning province. My grandpa’s parents came from Jinzhou, a prefecture in the same province not to far off from Dalian. The Manchus in Jinzhou–more specifically–Jinzhou Tiger Village, are the descendants of those who were stationed there by the emperor. They had previously lived in Beijing in an area called 老虎屯 (Tiger Corridor), in which they settled into in 1671, after the Manchus had taken over the Chinese empire. And before that, the Wen hala had come from Baekdu Mountain, on present-day Chinese-Korean border, and were known as “花色” (Hwase).

So, uhm. That was all the personal genealogy I know. Bless you if you’re not a Wen and have read this far. Although it does make me think: AP US History would have been so much more fun if I had ancestors aboard the Mayflower.

Comment te dire Adjø?

This is it. It’s over. Today marks exactly 11 months since the day I set foot in Oslo Gardemoen. Today is also my last day in Horten. Happy anniversary. Farwell. We’ve come full circle.

I’ve already said goodbye to Joakim. Now I’ve got the TV set to NRK 1: sandvolleyball verdensmesterskap i Stavanger. It feels like a throwback to the first days here, when we watched the OL matches. The world doesn’t stop, but it revolves round and round; I suppose life is like that too.

I wonder what Pappa’s last bad joke would be. I wonder what would be the last thing we would laugh at. I wonder what is going to happen tomorrow on Bones.

A few hours ago Alexander Rybak came on TV, and I realized that might have been the last time I got to see “Fairytale” on public television. As overplayed as it is, even it has snuck its way into my heart: a little something uniquely Norwegian, a little something belonging only to us: 2008/2009. A little something that only I—and perhaps the other partakers on this journey—will know, love and appreciate.

This has been an incredible year, and I’m glad to have finally experienced what I’ve always dreamed about—if only for a short 330 days: a complete family, a dad. I don’t know why, but it’s always so hard to say how I genuinely feel, and I don’t really know if I have it in me to tell him all the thing I want to say when I leave.

An uncomfortable pressure at the back of my throat is pushing me to stop writing, so I will.

And a parting question: I know I will come back, but will I come “hjem?”

Small Details and Big Picture

Glurgh, I am so sick of it! How come the guys I like never like me back? Am I just that unlucky in finding love? I feel like I’m gonna die an old lonely spinster.

I think I’ve seen more sun these past two days than I have in all the other 300+ days that I’ve been here in Norway. Chilled with Tilly at the beach yesterday. Transportation problems; walked back to Asker station. Honestly, I think sometimes we’ve become more Norwegian than some Norwegian kids here. I mean, I’m taking hikes and sykkelturer for leisure now.
Hei, åsen går det? Har du lyst til en tur?”

At night the family minus Marie plus Joakim’s girlfriend, Rebekka, took to Borre Golfbane to hear nightingales and sip cocoa. (Haha, see what I mean? Midnight Songbird Badge: Check!)

Today, we were at a huge family gathering near Holmestrand: lots of tremeninger that I haven’t met before, grilling, and oddball but fun games. They also had a helicopter fly in dropping candy over us, which was pretty darn cool.

As of tomorrow, I will have been in Norway for exactly 10 months, although nowadays, all of us are counting how many days we have left (a month and four days). I don’t think the anxiety of leaving has really hit me yet. I know it’s coming, and I’m expecting it to bother me, but it doesn’t. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to leave at all; despite school more or less sucking ass, I still love many things about Norway. But I can honestly say that after having lived here for almost a year; I find myself…disillusioned. I remember an email from a boy was in Sweden for his exchange year, and he said he had a love/hate relation with his host country. I can definitely understand that mindset now. In a sense, it’s quite painful because I can’t openly declare that I love this country without feeling a bit antipodal. But I suppose that’s how you also know that you’ve truly lived in another country: when that coat of sugar dissolves.
Just something to gnaw on for your brain…

섹시 토마스,跷课

噢凯,昨天晚上我梦见了벨기에的토마스。非常的随机,但是……挺精彩的,至少可以说。在我梦里头,我请他来我的家给他按摩后背。我们俩开始聊天儿,话变得越来越激切,然后不知不觉我们俩就在洗澡堂里了!我不记太多,只能回忆道他潮湿的皮肤,宽阔的肩膀儿,和肌肉的体魄。可能我的潜意识在告诉我什么,哈哈。(其实토마스真的很섹시,可惜他是个混蛋。)

흠,今天又没有上学。我知道,我知道。“坏孩儿。”但在学校里根本没有朋友,连想去的力气都难找。因此我想,还不如自己在家混一天呢。但是今天我的接待妈妈告诉我루이사和엘니为了跷课和她的不诚实吵起来了架。我不想走下那个道,我不想在我接待家庭背后偷偷摸摸儿的。我想跟他们又一个好的,信任的关系。所以我决定从今天以后会对他们真实。这是说,无论我多么不喜欢,多么的恨上学,我必须得上。我必须得保留他们的信息。

Bergen

Hei hei, I am writing for Bergen and man, it is amazing here! I just have to be honest and say: Bergen is so much better than Oslo, hands down. For those who are unfamiliar with Bergen, it is Norway’s second largest city and is situated on the western coast of Norway. What’s really amazing about the city is that it lies on the edge of the water, but also surrounded by mountains.

We are here to spend påskeferie, and are living with Geir and Irene, and their children: Mathias, Jonas, and lille Lisa.

It was quite a ways to get here: over seven hours of driving across Norway–saw quite a lot of Norwegian landscape (sure beats your average Californian road trip).

On Tuesday, we went around the city center to do some shopping. (Or rather, window-shopping. I have pretty much sworn off shopping for any clothing here in Norway and have regulated myself to only wasting money on transportation fees and the occasional yogurt from the school cafeteria.)

Yesterday, we took a fjelltur (mountain hike): Bergen is practically built into the mountains so it’s easy access to many great hiking routes. And I just have to say, it’s so incredible to be back in Vestlandet again; the scenery in eastern Norway just doesn’t compare to here, and it’s great to revisit the places which made me fall in love with Norway in the first place.

Later in the day we went to Vestkanten Ishall to play curling. I’ve never even heard of the game before, but it was great fun play. And in the evening, we kosed ourselves with some games and music.

Today, we toured some more around the city. We got to see the neighborhood of old houses and buildings behind brygga (Bergen’s harbor, which is also a UNESCO World Heritage site). The houses there were built so close to each other, and the old cobblestone walkways were still intact: it was very charming and distinctively European. Got me thinking that I would love to live in one of those neighborhoods for a while; de ser så koselig ut.

We also got to try out Geir’s new boat. (And by trying out, I mean drive, hehehe.) I now completely understand the whole yacht/boat obsession. It was incredible: so simple.

And hmm, what else? Ate lots of good food–including something called blings, which is more or less a huge brødskive (slice of bread) with a lot of pålegg (topping)–and went to the aquarium and otherwise just chilled with Jonas and Mathias and the rest of the family.

Oh, and I forgot to mention one thing: the Bergen dialect! It’s hard to understand, but very very cool. And what’s insane about Geir and Irene’s family: the 5 of them speak 4 different dialects! (Irene is from Vestfold while Geir is from Rogaland, and they speak quite differently from each other and from Bergensers. Mathias, their oldest son, was born before they moved to Bergen, so his dialect is a mix. [In fact, the way he speaks to me is very different than the way he speaks to his brother.] However, the two younger children were both born in Bergen, and both have the typical Bergen dialect, even though their parents don’t! Amazing, huh?)

And now, I think I shall get some sleep. Go kvæl!

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