I have big intentions. Huge plans and goals. I just can’t conceive them. I’ve always been in awe of songwriters; they make the process of creating a song seem so effortless. I want to do that. I want to carve out the intangible, capture and preserve a feeling, a moment, an emotion, and then pass it on to others. There exists nothing more satisfying.

But tonight, I’ll relegate myself to sharing other people’s songs, so unwax those ears.

1. Super Junior 너라고 (It’s You)

2. Kelly Clarkson Don’t Let Me Stop You

3. Nek ft. Laura Pausini Sei Solo Tu

It’s no secret that I’m a big fan of Nek, e non solo perché è gnocco. His music and lyrics are filled to the brim with emotion and intensity; they stir up feelings of boundlessness and nostalgia, and remind us of the fragility of being human. Mi sento il vivo quando ascolto lui.
Perché mi piaci in ogni modo,
Why do I like you in every way,
da ogni lato o prospettiva, tu?…
From every side and perspective, you?…
E poi sai fare morire un uomo
And you know how to make a man die
con l’innocenza del pudore che non hai…
with the innocent modesty that you don’t possess…
Perché sei bella che mi fai male…
Because you are beautiful that it hurts me…
Sei solo tu nei giorni miei…
There is only you in my days…
Sei solo tu e dimmi che
There is only you, and tell me that
sono questo ora anch’io per te…
I am also the same to you…

4. Cajsa Stina Åkerström Långt Härifrån

5. Keith Urban Til Summer Comes Around

And I saved the best for last. God, this song is everything I feel right now: deserted, wishing on something that doesn’t exist yet still persistant and keeping that flickering hope alive. And the guitar riff makes me speechless. This isn’t a song to listen to, this is a song to live.

I think all the songs here on this collection reflect a fragment of my mindset right now. They sing what I couldn’t dare say.

This past week has been pretty fun. Went to Scotland on a school trip from the first to fifth of March. We stayed in a hostel in Glasgow and spent most of our time there, with a one-day excursion east to Edinburgh (or if you rather, Edinbruh). I remember not really particularly looking forward to Scotland–we’d just read MacBeth last year–but aside from the weather, which was pretty Shakespearean, it was pleasantly nice.

We had a lot of time to ourselves, so I think I really got to know downtown Glasgow. Shopped a lot, ate a lot, drank maybe a little too much. (EuroHostel Glasgow, I’m really sorry about your staircase…) That suddenly reminds me, if you ever get the chance to visit Glasgow, go check out La Tasca: it’s this Spanish tapas restaurant and bar with excellent food, drinks, service, and ambiance. I know, shame on me for recommending a Spanish restaurant in Scotland, but really–do yourself a favor and eat there, or at least order a rebujito. We also went into some authentic Scottish pubs and tried just about everything under the sun: rum, vodka, schnapps, whiskey…pretty nifty (just like my rhyme), and ate some haggis: the whole gastronomical nine yards.

Came home Thursday and went up to the family hytte on Friday with Mammà, Pappà, Marie, Hilde and Morten. Alltid koselig å være på hytta vår.

So lately I’ve been harboring this really sweet and irritating feeling. The only way to describe it is like my heart can’t be contained within my ribcage. I’m emblazoned with a violent urge to do more, to be selfish, to go after what I really want. I’ve felt like this sporadically, and there’s no doubt Keith Urban’s latest single has a little something to do with it. (It also explains my sudden pregnant-womanlike craving for contemporary country. Just no Taylor Swift, please.) I love this feeling; it’s so motivating. It makes me want to get off my ass and do stuff and make something out of my life. But at the same time, it’s a humbling feeling: I feel so small, so unimportant, so there’s almost a need to move, faire, fare. It’s a fusion of desire and desperation. It’s the thought that “It’s a stormy sea ahead, but you’ll sail through it if you really put your mind to it.”

So anyway, to assuage myself, I’m planning on learning “You’ll Think of Me” within the next two weeks. Ambitious (for a gee-tar retard like me)? Yeah. But things feel different this time…

À suivre…