The Flossy Flossy

Keeping it “on the real” the best I can.

Archive for life

Doldrums

Frustration.
Unable to cope.
Flaky.
Powerless.
Helpless.
Stuck.
Caged.
Am I regressing?
Am I the only one walking around in this frozen world?
Maybe I wasn’t meant for America.
Maybe America wasn’t meant for me.
Or here, at least.

In a country where nobody has any time, and everyone’s got their own agenda, life sure seems to be at a standstill.
But like a good saying says: only bored people get bored.

So I want to have an adventure.
I want to feel my heart thump inside its cage.
I want to jump, and run, and walk the distance.
And look good while doing it.
And I want to fall in love.
No, really, fall in love the right way.
And take that midnight ferry to Fukuoka.
No more crap, no more discretion, no more NSA.

I want to live life seriously.

Non Basta Una Vita?

Here’s a joke that I’ve heard once that stuck with me.

The Husband Super Store

Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from among many men.

It was laid out in five floors, with men increasing in positive attributes on each floor. The only rule was that once you opened a door to a new floor, you either had to choose a man from that floor, or ascend to the next floor. You could not go back down a floor, except to leave the store, never to return.

A couple of girlfriends went to the store to find a husband each.

On the first floor, they came upon a door which had a sign reading, "These men have jobs and love kids."

The women read the sign saying, "Well that’s better than not having a job and not loving kids, but I wonder what’s further up." So up they went.

Upon reaching the second floor, they came upon a sign which read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking."

"Hmmm," said the ladies, "But, I wonder what’s further up." So up they went.

On the third floor, the sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework."

"Wow," said the women, "Very tempting." But there were still more floors, so up they went.

On the fourth floor, the door had a sign saying, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak."

"Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us further on!" So up to the fifth floor they went.

Upon arriving on the final floor, they read the sign on the door. It said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are impossible to please."

It’s a good joke, right? Sure, it pokes fun at women, but it’s also true. In fact, let’s take it one step further and say that not just women, but humans in general, are more or less in a state of perpetual dissatisfaction. Am I wrong? I mean, of course I’m grateful for what I have, but there’s always something else that’s missing from my life. (Which, at the moment, would be a kjæreste. But that hasn’t really changed in recent times, haha.)

And there’s nothing terrible about that. After all, having goals, aims, and desires is as natural as living life itself. Our existence would be in the doldrums otherwise.

Anyway, I was talking to Francesco in the car on our way back from our hytte today, and he introduced and explained to me a little bit of Plato’s arguments for the existence and immortality of the soul, which was grappling and mindfucking. All the while I was listening to him, I was secretly rooting for the existence of an argument which proves the immortality of the soul, or at least one that proves it keeps on living even after our physical bodies perish.

I don’t believe so much in God or any organized religion, although I do admit to praying to the bodhisattva statues in our living room whenever I was truly stressed or worried. But one thing that I’ve always believed in, oddly, is reincarnation. And I can’t really explain to you why I do other than the reason being out of pure blind faith. Because deep down, I believe that life is too miraculous, too boundless to be lived just once, and that surely we are offered more than only one lifetime to enjoy all its grandeur. Surely these can’t be the only eyes that this soul has seen through, felt alive through. Surely we have to live enough to experience everything from every angle, even if we don’t remember what we have lived before! So of course I was hoping that Francesco’s lecture would somehow confirm my ideas.

Well, they didn’t. But it did make me wonder why I was so set on living other lives that I don’t/am not going to remember. Forget about money, forget about love, forget about the number of Facebook friends: Is one lifetime not enough? No, it sure doesn’t seem like it.

I wonder what my grandpa would say if I asked him if one lifetime was enough. Does your soul get weary and tired as you get older? Or do you just stop asking these foolish questions?

星期报告

哇,这个星期跳了好多的学阿!好像每天都跳了最少一节课。但你能怪我吗?为麦克发这么多的愁,谁能有心上学呀?我真的爱上他了。无论如何……

星期四去了阿斯克见틸리。因为我们最近没有怎么通话,我还怕我们俩的关系不会像以前的那么近。但是在她家住一晚上后又回到以前的亲近了。

星期五我们跟닥在뷔그되위呆了一上午,聊聊天儿和晒晒太阳。晚上닥跟我回霍尔滕陪家吃피사。

星期六继续跟닥在一起。我们骑自行车儿到뢰뵈위아,和回来后看了《远大前程》,麦克最喜欢的影片儿。我实在无法解释麦克给我的反应。我感觉自己像电影儿里的芬一样,被에스텔라完全的迷住了,没法干别的事儿,没法想别人……

好了,该我睡觉的时候啦。今天是마리애的坚振圣事。

我为什么不是 Джок?

我刚浏览完 бельгийский Томас 的春假照片。不知道他在 Пасха 居然也去了 Берген 和西挪威。但虽然我们俩去一样的地方,我们有不同的 опыт。你可能在那儿想,”废话!” 对,你是在根本不能比较我和他。我们俩是不一样的人,有不一样的爱好,юмор,和性格。这个我早就明白了,但是–为什么呀?

我已经对自己承认我不是一个 джок,也永远不会变成一个。不管我活多少年,我也不会对 девушек,球儿,和车有兴趣。不管我跟 Иоаким 住多久,我也不会喜欢 хип-хоп 和 рэп。但是我总是问自己:为什么不可以呢?每个人的爱好都是”学”出来的。我本来生下来的时候没有喜欢唱歌,我是”学”会爱唱的,对不对?所以我为什么不能学会去爱篮球,啤酒,《Сплетница》?为什么不能学会享受跟 Иоаким,Томас,甚至其他的 мальчики 在一起,跟他们配合?

我知道我是我,和他们是他们。我知道对自己诚实是最重要的。我知道人就是这样的复杂和不同。但我还有时候感觉这个 жизнь 太孤独了。我有时候真不喜欢走这到路。没有人可以陪我走吗?

Marteler

Je suis allé chez toi avec comme alibi que j’étais avec une amie. Je ne suis pas sûr qu’elle m’ait compris, mais elle a accepté.

Je suis entré dans ton appartement, un havre de propeté au milieu d’un ghetto, et j’ai aspiré les effluves de ta vie. Je me suis dévêtu et suis entré dans la douche, et j’ai laissé la bonde rester comme tu m’as dit.

J’ai vu le lit, récemment fait et tentant. J’ai trouvé des bougies dans un de tes tiroirs et ai pensé à les allumer, mais ça aurait été trop romantique. Et ceci n’était pas du tout romantique…

Et après nous avons finit, tu as mis ta tête contre ma épaule. C’était papitant, c’était intense, c’était tragique. Mes doigts ont brûlé de toucher tes cheveux: longues mèches douces d’un or profond qui tombaient de ton front et illuminaient le vieillissement de ton visage. C’était la chose que je préférais de toi.

J’ai embrassé tes lèvres et la menthe qui les couvraient. Je savais que dans dix ans, ces lèvres n’appartiendraient plus au même homme. J’ai regardé dans tes yeux, les rides qui les entouraient. Ton regard était perçant, mais fatigué par l’expérience et trop de vécu. Ils étaient les yeux les plus beaux, au tournant d’une transformation soudaine en quelque chose d’indésirable. Et dans dix ans, ils perdront leurs étincelles, devenant des yeux lassés, sans flammes.

Mais ces cheveux seront toujours magnifiques. Dans dix ans, au moins. Et bien sûr, comme tout le reste, ils deviendront blancs et disparaîtrons.

Je ne sais pas pour qui je plains: pour toi–l’homme qui prend de l’âge; pour moi–celui qui souffre te voir vieillir; pour nous–et notre relation qui ne fleurira jamais; ou pour tout le monde–car rien n’est pour toujours.

Nous avons parlé de ton passé et de mon avenir, de tes premières aventures avec des filles espagnoles, et ce que tu faisais en 1992, de moi qui écrirai un livre quand je serai plus vieux, et lorsque tu ne seras plus là. Et cette pensée m’a fait le plus peur: que quelqu’un avec qui je pourrais être si intime ne soit plus là. Je voulais pleurer, mais j’ai dû prendre le train.

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